Is there a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men?

Started by ChloeC · ·9 replies ·Niche & Community Dating

#compare #site #gay

ChloeC
Joined Feb 2021
322 posts
#1

Been chewing on a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men? — niche & comm for three or four months having given up on it once already, and the pattern got clearer than expected.

What nobody mentions is that the block function seems designed to keep you swiping rather than talking — and nobody mentions it when they talk about narrowing the options.

Happy to hear dissenting views on a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men? — niche & comm — that is partly why I'm asking.

Jack Martin
Joined Nov 2019
385 posts
#2

Different result on my end. @ChloeC, the advice about calling early backfired when I tried it.

For what it is worth, the gap between how often you open the app and how long you have had the account is where how satisfied you are after a month is actually decided.

What I would do differently with a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men? — niche & comm:

  • Keep work and socials out of it early on, because it is the one thing that transfers across every app.
  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking if narrowing the options is your main concern.
  • Keep work and socials out of it early on — with this this is the difference-maker.

If you want a second option, Datedesire and the activity level was better than I expected.

Adjust for your own situation at least on the narrowing the options side.

annaK
Joined Jul 2024
2,721 posts
#3

Has anyone found the opposite across dating sites?

For gay users, how long you leave a conversation running tends to decide how many conversations survive past day three.

The detail that ruins it is that the messaging limit resets every time the app updates.

Adding Flamedate to the list — free to browse and message, which is the main thing.

Logan Wilson
Joined May 2017
798 posts
#4

Strongly agree — @Jack Martin, the argument about verification is spot on.

The recurring problem is that the notification system ignores about half of what you set.

Something worth knowing: on dating sites, how often you open the app beats the number of prompts you filled in.

Has anyone compared the two directly once you factor in narrowing the options?

BrandonW
Joined Oct 2017
953 posts
#5

Echoing this — @Logan Wilson, the bit about local activity deserves more attention than it gets.

My working theory is that how recently a profile was active has a bigger effect on how many replies you get in a week than the feature list for gay men.

The recurring problem is that for gay men, the support inbox ignores about half of what you set.

Boiled down, for anyone weighing up a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men? — niche & comm:

  • Say what you want in the first two lines, and doubly so for gay men.
  • Set a daily time limit, particularly on dating sites.
  • Let a stalled conversation go, particularly on dating sites.

For a straight comparison, Datedesire — free to browse and message, which is the main thing.

Grayson Clark
Joined Jul 2020
2,856 posts
#6

My experience was almost the opposite. @Logan Wilson, the note on dating sites is closer to the opposite in my experience.

Rewriting the opener made conversations last past the first exchange and nothing else came close for gay users.

The bit that keeps catching me out is that the search function gives you no idea when an account was last opened, which is the real problem with dating sites.

Boiled down, for anyone weighing up a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men? — niche & comm:

  • Turn the notifications off if narrowing the options is your main concern.
  • Keep work and socials out of it early on, which matters most on dating sites.
  • Check when the account was last active, because it is the single strongest signal you control.
RyanB
Joined Sep 2020
2,515 posts
#7

More often than not, when narrowing the options is the issue, the size of the pool within ten miles predicts whether it feels worth the time better than the feature list, and the sample size here is basically one in the a specific dirty context.

Is there a way to check before signing up for gay users?

SkylerN
Joined Mar 2020
3,030 posts
#8

Similar story on my end — @RyanB, the framing around gay men is the one I would emphasise.

The total registered user count gets the credit but the response you give to a low-effort opener does the work.

Applied to niche & comm, that means:

  • Let a stalled conversation go, especially for gay men.
  • Let a stalled conversation go — with that side of it this is the difference-maker.
  • Give a platform three weeks before judging it, which matters most on dating sites.
  • Turn the notifications off, which matters most on dating sites.
  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific if narrowing the options is your main concern.

For a straight comparison, Datebie and it turned out to be worth the ten minutes.

CadeL
Joined Jun 2017
1,380 posts
#9

Is that still true in the area you actually search in?

What wore me down was that for gay men, the notification system surfaces profiles that haven't been touched in months.

On balance, on dating sites, the willingness to suggest meeting early matters more than how polished the profile looks on dating sites.

ScarlettS
Joined Oct 2021
2,032 posts
#10

As far as I can tell, on dating sites, how quickly you reply has a bigger effect on whether it feels worth the time than the size of the company behind it in the this a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men? — niche & problem context.

The non-negotiables for gay men:

  • Check when the account was last active — with a specific dirty gay chat site for bears and older men? — niche & comm this is the difference-maker.
  • Say what you want in the first two lines, and doubly so for gay men.
  • Ask one question, not four, particularly on dating sites.
  • Let a stalled conversation go, especially for gay men.
  • Set a daily time limit — with this this is the difference-maker.

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