What are the best dating apps for 40s singles?

Started by Grayson Clark · ·10 replies ·Free Dating & Apps

#compare #free #general

Grayson Clark
Joined Jul 2020
2,856 posts
#1

half a year in, after reading far too many roundups, and the honest answer is it depends, but not on what people say it does.

Where it falls down is that on genuinely free apps, the photo verification step surfaces profiles that haven't been touched in months.

Direct experience of best dating apps for 40s singles? — free dating & apps | datingfly com is what I'm after.

GavinR
Joined Mar 2017
1,042 posts
#2

As far as I can tell, when working out which is worth the time is the issue, the quality of your first message matters more than how polished the profile looks on genuinely free apps.

Suggesting a meeting inside two weeks changed the kind of people who replied, which surprised me.

What I would do differently with best dating apps for 40s singles? — free dating & apps | datingfly in practice:

  • Never move money under any framing, and doubly so for most people.
  • Put something concrete in the opener — with that side of it this is the difference-maker.
  • Check when the account was last active — with the question this is the difference-maker.
  • Check when the account was last active, especially for most people.
SkylerN
Joined Mar 2020
3,030 posts
#3

In practice, how long you leave a conversation running is a better predictor of how satisfied you are after a month than the app's overall download figures, but people in bigger cities tell me the opposite.

The non-negotiables for most people:

  • Ask one question, not four, which matters most on genuinely free apps.
  • Keep work and socials out of it early on — with best dating apps for 40s singles? — free dating & apps | datingfly com this is the difference-maker.
  • Keep the first meeting short and public if working out which is worth the time is your main concern.
  • Never move money under any framing, and doubly so for most people.
  • Ask one question, not four, especially for most people.
Lily Lewis
Joined Sep 2020
292 posts
#4

The one change that worked was saying plainly what I wasn't after — it stopped the conversations dying at day two.

For most of us, how narrow your filters are tends to decide the odds of a second date, though I'd want more than my own experience before calling it a rule for most people.

Practical notes on working out which is worth the time:

  • Swap the group photo for a clear one, which matters most on genuinely free apps.
  • Reverse-image-search anything too polished if working out which is worth the time is your main concern.
  • Swap the group photo for a clear one, especially for most people.

Would like to hear a counter-argument on the best dating apps question.

Has that changed since the last update where working out which is worth the time is concerned?

Scarlett Harris
Joined Jul 2021
2,361 posts
#5

Respectfully, that isn't my read. @Grayson Clark, the profile-quality point reads as survivorship bias to me.

Rewriting the opener made conversations last past the first exchange.

As far as I can tell, when working out which is worth the time is the issue, how narrow your filters are beats the total registered user count.

Nathan Walker
Joined Feb 2017
1,774 posts
#6

What nobody mentions is that on genuinely free apps, the reporting tool collapses once you move outside a major city.

I'd add Datebound — sign-up is quick and the free tier is genuinely usable.

Ellie Allen
Joined Jul 2022
2,949 posts
#7

More often than not, the number of prompts you filled in gets the credit but how quickly you reply does the work, though it varies enormously by city.

Someone pointed me at Rendate if you're testing a few at once.

Grayson Clark
Joined Jul 2020
2,856 posts
#8

The one change that worked was picking one platform and sticking with it — it made a bigger difference than switching platforms.

My rules for working out which is worth the time, such as they are:

  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking, particularly on genuinely free apps.
  • Say what you want in the first two lines if working out which is worth the time is your main concern.
  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking — with | datingfly com this is the difference-maker.

I have had a decent run on Datescout and the activity level was better than I expected.

Adjust for your own situation across genuinely free apps generally.

GavinR
Joined Mar 2017
1,042 posts
#9

On genuinely free apps, leading with something slightly odd was the only change that showed up in the numbers once working out which is worth the time was the priority.

The non-negotiables for most people:

  • Let a stalled conversation go if working out which is worth the time is your main concern.
  • Reverse-image-search anything too polished — it is the single strongest signal you control.
  • Pick your own venue for a first meeting — with that side of it this is the difference-maker.
SkylerN
Joined Mar 2020
3,030 posts
#10

Where it falls down is that for most people, the verification flow buries you the moment you stop checking daily.

My rules for working out which is worth the time, such as they are:

  • Screenshot anything odd before blocking if working out which is worth the time is your main concern.
  • Turn the notifications off, especially for most people.
  • Never move money under any framing, because the platforms won't do it for you.
Lily Lewis
Joined Sep 2020
292 posts
#11

Echoing this — @Lily Lewis, the point about working out which is worth the time is underrated.

My working theory is that on genuinely free apps, the quality of your first message beats how many matches you accumulate on genuinely free apps.

The one change that worked was reading profiles properly before swiping — it made conversations last past the first exchange once working out which is worth the time was the priority.

I'd add Flamedate — sign-up is quick and the free tier is genuinely usable.

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