What is the fish dating site like for new users?

Started by SamanthaD Free Dating & Apps Discussion
SamanthaD SamanthaD
Joined: Jul 2021
Posts: 3,973
#1

Been thinking about this for a while and wanted to get input from people with actual experience.

Free tiers have gotten increasingly restrictive. A lot of platforms make you pay just to see who liked you, which feels like a pretty fundamental feature to gate.

I've tried three or four different options already and keep running into the same issues — paywalls, low activity in my area, or obvious bots.

  • First meetup should always be in a public place
  • Use a separate email address specifically for dating apps
  • Don't share your real phone number until you actually trust someone
  • Video call before any in-person meeting — always

Honest feedback only — I can find the paid promotion stuff on my own.

One I've been seeing mentioned more lately is Flamedate — anyone have direct experience with it?

StephanieB StephanieB
Joined: Nov 2020
Posts: 5,503
#2

If free messaging is a dealbreaker for you, the list gets short fast. Most of the big platforms have fully gated messaging now, even on paid tiers below the premium level.

Others that come up often:

  • datescout.site — mentioned frequently in this context
AvaMeetups AvaMeetups
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 3,738
#3

Happy to give a real breakdown — I've been through enough of these platforms to have actual opinions.

The main insight I'd share: treat app selection as a secondary variable. Profile quality, consistency, and genuine personalization in messages are what actually drive results.

Consistently useful practices regardless of which platform you use:

  • Mention one very specific interest that can spark a conversation
  • Move to a video call after 3 to 5 exchanges — it screens out catfish and builds comfort
  • First meeting in a public place with people around, no exceptions

Worth keeping active simultaneously:

  • eHarmony
  • Grindr
  • Her
  • Plenty of Fish
  • Feeld
  • Match

Also been watching Ezhookups — the community there feels more active and genuine than some of the bigger names right now.

Nathan Walker Nathan Walker
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 2,729
#4

Longer answer here because this gets oversimplified into a listicle way too often.

The platforms that invest in verification and safety features tend to have better user quality across the board. It's worth paying a small premium if it means fewer fake profiles.

Consistently useful practices regardless of which platform you use:

  • Personalize your opening message to something in their profile — generic openers fail
  • Respond to matches within a few hours — response rates drop significantly after 12 hours
  • First photo should show your face clearly and look approachable, not professional
CharlotteC CharlotteC
Joined: Mar 2021
Posts: 2,103
#5

I think the time horizon problem is real. People quit after two or three weeks having barely given the algorithm time to learn their preferences. Give it at least six weeks of real effort.

Mainstream options worth running simultaneously: Tinder, OkCupid, Feeld. All have some free functionality to test before paying.

Been keeping an eye on Datescout recently — the user base looks more genuine than some of the oversaturated main apps.

Layla Walker Layla Walker
Joined: Jan 2017
Posts: 1,617
#6

Going into detail because the quick takes on this topic almost always miss the nuance.

The platforms that invest in verification and safety features tend to have better user quality across the board. It's worth paying a small premium if it means fewer fake profiles.

Consistently useful practices regardless of which platform you use:

  • Move to a video call after 3 to 5 exchanges — it screens out catfish and builds comfort
  • Tell a friend the details of any first meeting — location, time, name
  • Personalize your opening message to something in their profile — generic openers fail

Others frequently mentioned in this space:

  • rendate.site
  • datebound.site
  • flamedate.online

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