Where is the best gay meet up site for making new friends?

Started by GraceM · ·9 replies ·Messaging & First Dates

#firstdate #friendship #gay

GraceM
Joined Sep 2021
3,084 posts
#1

Posting this after most of this year on best gay meet up site for making new friends? — messaging & first date — I'm less certain than when I started.

What actually frustrates me is that the notification system treats a fifty-mile radius as a suggestion, which is the real problem with friend-finder apps.

Where I would value another read, particularly for men seeking men:

  • Is that a regional thing when moving from chat to meeting is the main worry?
  • Is there a way to check before signing up for anyone weighing up this whole area?
  • Does that hold outside the big cities for anyone in gay men?

For men seeking men, cutting the match list right down got three actual meetings out of six weeks.

Direct experience of this whole area is what I'm after.

TylerK
Joined Aug 2025
583 posts
#2

What actually frustrates me is that the free tier collapses once you move outside a major city, which is the real problem with friend-finder apps.

The one change that worked was saying plainly what I was not after — it improved things more than any paid feature.

My working theory is that the boost you paid for gets the credit but how often you open the app does the work where moving from chat to meeting is concerned.

For gay men, the shortlist:

  • Reverse-image-search anything too polished — everything downstream depends on it.
  • Turn the notifications off, especially for men seeking men.
  • Swap the group photo for a clear one, particularly on friend-finder apps.
  • Write the bio for one person, not everyone — the alternative wastes weeks.

Not claiming this is universal especially for men seeking men.

Has anyone found the opposite where moving from chat to meeting is concerned?

Nathan Walker
Joined Feb 2017
1,774 posts
#3

Has anyone got numbers rather than impressions given moving from chat to meeting?

What wore me down was that the free tier seems designed to keep you swiping rather than talking, which is the real problem with friend-finder apps.

More often than not, for gay men, the amount of detail in a bio tends to decide how long a conversation lasts, though a friend had the reverse experience for men seeking men.

SeanO
Joined Jul 2020
337 posts
#4

That tracks — @GraceM, the timing observation is the whole thing really.

As far as I can tell, the clarity of your main photo explains more of how long a conversation lasts than the app's overall download figures ever did.

Picking one platform and sticking with it made conversations last past the first exchange once moving from chat to meeting was the priority.

That is my read, not gospel on & first date.

Does that change much once you factor in moving from chat to meeting?

AlexisF
Joined Aug 2024
2,493 posts
#5

Respectfully, that is not my read. @GraceM, the advice about calling early may have been better luck than most get.

The pattern I keep seeing is that for gay men, how specific you're about what you want tends to decide how many conversations survive past day three.

A few things worth doing on friend-finder apps:

  • Tell a friend where you are going, because the cost of getting it wrong is high and the cost of getting it right is nothing.
  • Read the profile before you send anything, which matters most on friend-finder apps.
  • Swap the group photo for a clear one, because it is the one thing that transfers across every app.
  • Stop apologising for wanting something specific, and doubly so for men seeking men.
HunterV
Joined Nov 2020
1,873 posts
#6

More often than not, on friend-finder apps, the amount of detail in a bio matters more than which tier you are on.

The thing I did not expect was that the messaging limit buries you the moment you stop checking daily, especially once moving from chat to meeting comes into it.

Answering within a day roughly doubled the reply rate and nothing else came close.

Does that change much when you factor in this whole area?

Isaiah Lewis
Joined Feb 2025
1,831 posts
#7

This is close to my read — @HunterV, the bit about local activity held up in my case too.

Leading with something slightly odd produced better matches within about ten days, which surprised me for gay men.

When moving from chat to meeting is the issue, the honesty of the bio matters more than the total registered user count where moving from chat to meeting is concerned.

Elizabeth Thomas
Joined Jan 2021
1,080 posts
#8

Same experience here — @Nathan Walker, the note on friend-finder apps is underrated.

The recurring problem is that the free tier shows the same faces on a loop.

Broadly, how long you leave a conversation running outweighs the number of prompts you filled in.

Has anyone found the opposite once you factor in moving from chat to meeting?

Sebastian Lee
Joined Sep 2021
611 posts
#9

My sticking point is that the photo verification step treats a fifty-mile radius as a suggestion, especially once moving from chat to meeting comes into it.

Saying plainly what I wasn't after was the only change that showed up in the numbers.

Datelink has been the steadier of the ones I run — it doesn't gate messaging, which is rarer than it should be.

WhitneyO
Joined May 2025
2,208 posts
#10

Has anyone tested this recently where moving from chat to meeting is concerned?

On friend-finder apps, deleting everything and starting over was the only change that showed up in the numbers.

Worth a look at Turndate as well — the profiles feel more current than most.

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