Posting this after since the spring on a dating app for plus size women? — niche & community dating | datingf — most of what I had read didn't hold up.
What nobody mentions is that the search function turns into a shop window the moment someone matches.
As far as I can tell, the app's overall download figures gets the credit but the quality of your first message does the work.
For anyone who has used dating apps recently:
Has anyone had the reverse happen on dating apps?
Does that change much given deciding where to spend the effort?
Is that a regional thing if you are dealing with deciding where to spend the effort?
Is anyone getting different results with dating apps?
Does that hold outside the big cities where deciding where to spend the effort is concerned?
Direct experience of that side of it is what I'm after.
I read it the other way. @Jackson Thomas, the framing around plus-size daters may have been better luck than most get.
My working theory is that nothing changes how satisfied you are after a month as much as the response you give to a low-effort opener for plus-size daters.
The one change that worked was shortening the bio by half — it cut the wasted time by more than half once deciding where to spend the effort was the priority.
The recurring problem is that the search function shows the same faces on a loop — and nobody mentions it when they talk about deciding where to spend the effort.
Someone pointed me at Datewander — it doesn't gate messaging, which is rarer than it should be.
Something worth knowing: on dating apps, the response you give to a low-effort opener matters more than the boost you paid for for plus-size daters.
The part nobody warns you about is that the discovery feed gives you no idea when an account was last opened, which is the real problem with dating apps.
On dating apps, rewriting the opener cut the wasted time by more than half for plus-size users.
The bit that keeps catching me out is that the free tier seems designed to keep you swiping rather than talking.
As far as I can tell, how recently a profile was active is a better predictor of how many conversations survive past day three than the feature list, which may say more about how I use them.
If you want a second option, Datebound if you are testing a few at once.
Does that change much given deciding where to spend the effort?
On balance, how long you have had the account gets the credit but the effort in the opening line does the work.
My sticking point is that for plus-size daters, the recommendation engine quietly stops working after the first week.
On that point, Luvdate and there is no paywall on the basics.
Take what is useful and leave the rest at least on the deciding where to spend the effort side.
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