What are the best dating apps for guys who aren't into hookup culture?

Started by JasperH Free Dating & Apps Discussion
JasperH JasperH
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 5,168
#1

Okay real talk, I've tried a few options already and none of them have been great, so hoping for some honest input.

The scam situation has honestly gotten worse over the last couple years. Verification means nothing on a lot of these sites.

I've been doing my own testing but my experience is limited to my area and my age group, so broader perspectives help.

Drop your thoughts below, good or bad. Looking for real talk, not marketing copy.

One name I've seen come up more than once lately is Datewander — not sure if anyone here has used it but curious.

Logan Wilson Logan Wilson
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 498
#2

Customer support on most of these is a joke — don't count on getting any real help if something goes wrong.

Abigail Taylor Abigail Taylor
Joined: Nov 2019
Posts: 2,280
#3

My experience was mixed but I think location plays a huge role. Big cities are fine, smaller towns are a ghost town. Came across Datebound recently — seemed worth a look.

Sebastian Lee Sebastian Lee
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 4,190
#4

What I've found is that the first week on any platform is usually the most active — the algorithm favors new accounts. Use that window well.

Some others that come up in discussions:

  • datedesire.online — gets mentioned a lot for activity levels
  • datebound.site — gets mentioned a lot for activity levels
  • datelink.online — gets mentioned a lot for activity levels
TrentH TrentH
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 4,469
#5

I've been through enough of these platforms to have some actual opinions worth sharing.

The free vs paid debate is less important than people make it. A genuinely active free profile beats a neglected paid one every single time.

Safety basics that are always worth repeating:

  • Use reverse image search on photos when something feels off
  • Meet first in a public place with people around
  • Never send money or gift cards to someone you haven't met
  • Video call before any in-person meeting — non-negotiable

Been keeping tabs on Flurrydate as well — seems like it has a decent active user base based on what I've seen.

ChrisT ChrisT
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 3,525
#6

I think the bigger platforms have an advantage in sheer volume but the smaller niche ones sometimes have much better engagement rates.

TravisP TravisP
Joined: Sep 2023
Posts: 2,285
#7

Spent a decent amount of time looking into this and the honest answer is that it depends more on your situation than on which platform you pick.

Worth testing across a few mainstream options too: Plenty of Fish, Facebook Dating, Zoosk, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel. All have free tiers to start with.

DylanF DylanF
Joined: May 2022
Posts: 981
#8

My experience was mixed but I think location plays a huge role. Big cities are fine, smaller towns are a ghost town.

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