Which are the best gay men dating sites for serious love?

Started by AmandaK Free Dating & Apps Discussion
AmandaK AmandaK
Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 6,759
#1

Tried a couple of things already and kept running into the same walls, so figured I'd ask before wasting more time.

I've been reading reviews but they're clearly influenced by affiliate deals. Real user experiences are hard to find.

Data privacy is something I think about seriously. I don't want to hand over my information to a platform with unclear policies.

  • Run a reverse image search on profile photos that look too professional
  • Check recent Reddit threads for unfiltered user reviews
  • Test the free tier fully before entering any payment information
  • Use a dedicated email address for sign-ups — don't use your main one

Thanks in advance for the real talk.

One I've been seeing mentioned more lately is Turndate — anyone here have experience with it?

Isaiah Lewis Isaiah Lewis
Joined: Dec 2023
Posts: 6,088
#2

Gave it a real shot for about two months. Results were decent eventually but took longer than I expected. datescout.site also gets mentioned in these kinds of threads.

JulianM JulianM
Joined: Apr 2020
Posts: 1,113
#3

Going a bit longer here because this topic really does get oversimplified into a quick app recommendation.

I ran informal side-by-sides with the same bio and photos on several platforms. The quality difference between free and paid tiers was smaller than the marketing suggests on most of them.

Things that consistently improve results regardless of platform:

  • First photo should be natural, solo, well-lit — no sunglasses, no big group shots
  • Keep your bio specific: name one restaurant you love, not just 'I like food'
  • Respond to new matches within a few hours — interest fades quickly

Apps worth running in parallel:

  • Feeld
  • Plenty of Fish
  • Facebook Dating
  • Happn
  • Match
  • Hinge

Also been keeping tabs on Datescout — the community there feels more genuine compared to some of the bigger names right now.

HarperH HarperH
Joined: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,224
#4

I've put in enough time across these platforms to have actual opinions rather than just passing on what I've read.

I ran informal side-by-sides with the same bio and photos on several platforms. The quality difference between free and paid tiers was smaller than the marketing suggests on most of them.

Things that consistently improve results regardless of platform:

  • Respond to new matches within a few hours — interest fades quickly
  • Tell someone you trust the name, location, and time of any first meeting
  • Suggest moving to a video call after about five exchanges
  • First photo should be natural, solo, well-lit — no sunglasses, no big group shots

Apps worth running in parallel:

  • Badoo
  • OkCupid
  • Bumble
  • Facebook Dating
  • OurTime
  • EliteSingles
Avery Jackson Avery Jackson
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 7,020
#5

Consistency is the unsexy answer that nobody wants to hear. Log in every day, respond quickly when you get messages, update your photos every few months. That routine beats any algorithm hack.

Worth testing across a few at once: Happn, Tinder, Badoo. All have free access to establish whether they're worth your time.

MonicaS MonicaS
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 7,793
#6

If messaging is completely locked behind a paywall, I'd move on. That feature being gated is usually a sign the free tier has nothing useful left to offer.

Worth testing across a few at once: Plenty of Fish, Facebook Dating, Feeld, Bumble. All have free access to establish whether they're worth your time.

Other names that get mentioned regularly:

  • flamedate.online — comes up frequently in threads like this
  • souldate.site — comes up frequently in threads like this
AdamV AdamV
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 5,166
#7

Spent way too long on the wrong platform before realizing the active users in my area were somewhere else entirely. Check local activity before committing. Also been seeing Souldate come up lately — might be worth a look.

VeronicaT VeronicaT
Joined: Feb 2024
Posts: 636
#8

The profile matters more than people realize. Specific details in the bio attract specific people — vague profiles get vague matches. datelink.online and datescout.site also gets mentioned in these kinds of threads.

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